Do you still have your period?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
