one word: firstdatebathroomanal
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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