I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I need to stop coming to work sober
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
