**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
