Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
