she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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