On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i love accidental penises.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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