why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
