I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
