...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
