he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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