im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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