were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
