Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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