You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
