there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
