so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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