Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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