I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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