Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
