I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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