whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
