I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
