Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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