Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
