I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
