These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
