Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The air was thick with penises
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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