brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
