i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
