I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
