Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
