Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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