He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
