she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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