I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
