Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I smell stomach acid.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
