names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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