I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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