Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
