My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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