escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
