i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
