and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
