I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
