OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
