Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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