You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
