You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
