The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
