yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
